Just one more cookie. It’s pretty small. It’s no big deal. I had a rough day. I work hard. I deserve this reward.
I lost almost 50 pounds about 3 years ago. I was quite overweight for about 20 years and finally asked God to help me because I couldn’t do it myself. I’d love to say it was easy – that I prayed and the pounds just melted off. That would be a complete lie. I had to work hard. I met with a wonderful nutritionist who helped me learn about food and what my body needed. I worked with an awesome coach that motivated me to work out and tone my body.
After a year or so, I started having treats. I used to just have some unhealthy food once a month. Then it became once a week. Pretty soon it was every day. I watched my weight slowly creep up. Plus 3 pounds here, down 2 there… the climb was slow, but constant.
I have learned that when I eat nutritious food, my body feels great and I lose weight. The food actually tastes good, and I enjoy what I eat. There is a purity to my diet, eating clean and unprocessed foods. When I cheat and have over-salted and sugar-filled snacks, I feel terrible and it’s really never worth it. Rewards in the form of junk food is not a prize at all.
Traveling for work or with family was the hardest for me. I always felt I deserved a reward and somehow the calories wouldn’t count when I was out of town. I would physically feel awful from having all the processed foods. I asked my nutritionist what I should eat when I traveled. I was hoping she would tell me some secret where I could do what I wanted, but not gain weight. She told me to keep eating the healthy foods I always ate. I was discouraged at first, but then realized she was right.
God has been showing me how this experience is very similar to sin. When I live a pure lifestyle, staying in His Word, and continually praying and talking with Him, I feel so wonderful. It’s when I begin to do things that go against what He wills and act out of selfish desires, that my life begins to go astray. I would find myself turning my back on God and His presence.
Sin typically doesn’t start as a huge, life-changing event. A small offense hurts our feelings. Resentment begins and we begin to think about how we were wronged. We get others to help build our case of how we are the victim and we deserve revenge. One thing leads to another, and a tiny step away from God and His wisdom starts the motion which brings us far from Him. Sin starts with the smallest action, which begins to build faster than we can imagine, and has us doing things we never thought we would ever do.
When I decided to have a meal of unhealthy food after eating clean for so long, I just wanted what I remembered as comfort and happiness. I didn’t want to stop my new way of eating. I really didn’t want to put on 50 pounds again. After the one meal, I felt I got away with it. I didn’t put on any weight. I figured I could do it again. And then I liked how the food tasted and remembered how much I loved to eat certain things. Then I would do it again, and again. No matter what I did, the scale kept going higher and higher.
I have seen the same patterns in my life with sin. If it’s just a little thing that no one knows about, it’s got to be ok. I’m sure it’s no big deal if I can get away with it. But God knows. Sin hurts His heart and He disapproves of it. Living in repeated sin shows that it has become our master. Billy Graham said how “sin is so serious that it caused Jesus Christ to leave Heaven’s glory and come into the world to die as the final and complete sacrifice for sin”. Sin definitely is a big deal.
Every day I am becoming more like Jesus Christ. He is refining me and changing my nature to love what He loves and hate what He hates. I am slowly being made more pure and my desire of sinful things is less noticeable. I’d love to say I never sin. That would be a blatant lie. But I definitely have been sinning so much less than before, and am more aware of temptations and things that entice me away from God. If I do find myself having sinned, I repent and pray for His forgiveness and ask for His help to change.
To distance myself from sin, I read the Bible and talk with God a lot. I stay close to Him, and pray as much as I can. I lean into Him to empower me away from the things that lead to death. I am not perfect, only God is. With His love and patient assistance, I am becoming more like Him and less prone to surrender to sin.
Do I love to eat unhealthy food? Absolutely. Am I going to continue doing so? I can’t. I’ve learned that I need to go back to a more pure and clean way of eating, so I can be as healthy as possible. God has put on my heart that I need to return to eating better and not stray away again. Just like how I need to stay away from the sin that demands my submission, I need to keep all areas of my life pure. With God on my side, I truly do have hope.