Let God be God

I’ve found as I get older, it’s harder and more difficult to make friends.  When I was a kid, it seemed so easy.  Friends were everywhere – the playground, in class, at afterschool events, etc.  I just would walk up to someone and talk.  Friendships were easily made and there was never a shortage.

Then I grew up; started to work, and have kids.  I kept a good number of acquaintances, but few close friends.  When I became a Christian, it was hard to maintain close friendships when we had such different views.  As my closest friends and I grew apart, it seemed there was no one to take their place.

I tried praying for a Christian friend.  I was so specific, telling God exactly how this was going to work out.  I made a detailed list of what I wanted.  She was going to be Christian, about my age, married, and with kids about the same age as my kids.  We were going to hang out at each other’s homes, sharing our faith and supporting each other’s families as we grew closer together and with God.  It sounded perfect. 

God gave me exactly what I asked for.  I met a nice Christian lady at a women’s event at my church.  She had a great personality and we hit it off.  She was married, with kids about the same age as mine.  I came home that night so happy and excited to get exactly what I asked for. 

But it never worked out.  It was so awkward and bad.  We never really became friends – nothing negative happened – but it really was never meant to be.  I felt discouraged, lonely, and still was longing for a Christian friend.

Then a few months later, I was driving to another women’s event at my church.  With a heavy heart, I prayed for God to please let me make a friend that day.  That was it.  It was such a simple prayer, but full of longing and sadness. 

A lady sat behind me at the conference.  We started chatting a bit and began to really click.  The more we talked, the more I wanted to continue the conversation.  When we parted ways, I felt a tiny ray of hope.

We talked a little here and there after the conference.  Then God began to nudge my heart to contact her and ask her deeper questions about spiritual gifts.  I fought Him as long as I could, until I finally contacted her, honestly just to make Him quiet.  I figured if she thought I was weird; I would tell God I told you so. 

I reached out, feeling foolish, uncertain and nervous.  Turns out she didn’t think I was crazy, and that started one of the most beautiful friendships I’ve ever had.  God was beginning to move in a profound way in my life.  I could barely understand it, and really needed someone to talk to.  At that time, I was having dreams from God that were becoming more numerous.  That ended up being just the tip of the iceberg on what He was planning to do in my life. 

The friendship that developed was so perfect and completely orchestrated by God.  Together we shared our experiences, our prayers and lives.  She helped me grow into the person I am today.  We quickly became best friends and I thanked God daily for our friendship.  It almost seemed at times that He brought us together so she could help mentor me, but we ended up teaching each other so much. 

The ironic thing is she was nothing that I asked for, but everything I needed.  She was older than me, divorced and didn’t have any kids.  But God knew that she had the experience, wisdom and personality that would be a perfect fit to be my friend.  My mind wanted something very specific, but my heart needed something completely different. 

Even though our paths are now separate, I am so thankful for the time I got to spend with her.  I learned so much and our friendship helped me through a huge transition in my life.  She will always hold a place in my heart. I’m so proud of her obedience to God and all the work she does for Him.  I am eternally grateful for God bringing exactly the right person at the right time into my life.  It was only when I stopped telling God how to do His job, and let God be God, that I finally got exactly what I needed – a friend.